Resurrection Day (aka Easter) - just call me Zen

So, today is Resurrection Day - the day that Jesus rose right on up from the dead. Pretty cool, if you ask me. Jesus was, in fact, a pretty cool dude. He really 'got it,' if you know what I mean. So -  thank you Jesus for being so cool, for teaching me how to love everybody, and for showing me that it can be done. Also, thank you for showing me that death really cannot stop us.

This has kinda been a metaphor for my life over the past several months. The end of 2009 most definitely brought about a really beautiful and painful death for me - several deaths, actually, if I'm going to be really honest about it. The end of 09 brought about the demise of all my old self-sabotaging habits, old negative ways of thinking, old self-defeating ways of being, and - most stunning of all - the complete and absolute death of a piss-poor 'I'm not worthy of being loved' attitude. There were many factors (and many people) who helped contribute to these life-altering transformations and I am grateful to - and for - them all.

On my birthday (in Tofino, BC), toward the end of last year, surrounded by complete love, light and acceptance, I (for the first time ever) truly took it all in - and, in one blissful moment of pure love and sound, I was absolutely, without question, re-born, re-connected; resurrected, if you will. A phoenix rising from the ashes, finally ready to take flight. And, but by the grace of God and this amazingly wonderful and perfect Universe, I haven't looked behind me since.

A very dear friend of mine sent me an incredibly sweet and touching email last night. In it, he said that I seem to be very zen these days. And, he's right, I do feel very calm, centered, peaceful and -most of all - loved. I feel so much love flowing to me - and through me - every minute of every day...and I couldn't be more grateful.

Since my promise to myself (and the Universe) at the end of last year to look (and move) only forward, so many (almost) unbelievably wonderful things have been happening in my world. Old connections and 'old' friendships have been re-worked to provide new blessings and new levels of love and connection. New friends and kindred spirits have come into my life as well - certain BE-ings who just, very unconditionally and very simply, love, support and accept me no matter what. (Totally grateful for that, by the way!) New opportunities for growth and living my dream are around every corner, every minute of every day. And last but certainly not least, very beautifully, little pieces of my soul have returned from wherever they went to heal  and I am finally beginning to feel whole again.

Many of these things seem, on the surface, like they might be unbelievable - almost 'too good to be true.'  But, of course they're true. It's all true - because this is the way this wonderful world and loving Universe work. When You absolutely know who You are and You stay connected to Your purpose, true miracles happen on a daily basis.

So much love and so many Blessings to all of You!

Just call me Zen...

Magic

As I type this, his soft, sweet voice floats out of my speakers, surrounding me with love...and I realize that, even after almost 2 full years of trying to learn how to live without him, I still don't know how to let him go. Thankfully, I have this one moment in time, this one song, this one reminder, to provide me with some small sense of comfort...some indication that he did, in fact, walk among us...once...if only for a brief time...

Kirk Bennett - the purest example of light and love that I've ever known. Words will never do him justice so I'll simply say this...he was, in a word, amazing. Awe-inspiring might be an even better choice. In any event, he was....quite peacefully...and quite wonderfully....Kirk. And I miss him more than words could ever express.

I promise that I will provide more details about this in the near future - the song I mentioned (which is called Magic, by the way)  will be on the new album ('Remnants of the Fall'), which I will be releasing sometime later this year.

In the meantime, I can only say that there have been just 3 times in my life thus far that I felt such an intense and powerful connection with someone...the first time lasted only a few minutes, the next lasted a few days and the most recent lasted only a few weeks...all three connections ended in some form of lost...the greatest of which being Kirk's. His passing almost 2 years ago has affected me in ways I cannot even begin to describe. However, my gratefulness that I was ever blessed enough to be a part of his life far outweighs any grief I've allowed myself to experience over his loss.

I loved Kirk...more than anything - and I still do. That will never change. I've come to accept that as a part of my day-to-day life. There's no 'moving on.' Only moving forward...one step at a time...and that's something I can do; especially because I know Kirk is with me every step of the way. I'll never stop missing him. I'll never stop loving him. And I'll never stop wanting him to be right here beside me. And that's okay. He keeps me going, in a way. It's hard to explain, so I won't even dare. For now, I'll just say that I'm grateful. I'm grateful for love. I'm grateful for Music. And I'm grateful for two people who were so completely willing to open up to one other. We bared our souls in seconds flat and I'm so grateful for that.

Kirk - I can't put into words how much I miss you, but I know you understand somehow. I'm forever altered because you came into my life - and because you left so quickly. You've got a place in my heart - it's yours - forever.....along with the music. I love you.

Much love always,
~Jen

http://www.myspace.com/kirkbennett

Gratitude

What am I grateful for?

   I'm grateful for the sun, shining warmly upon my face. I'm grateful for my amazing family and support network. I'm grateful for re-connecting with 'old' friends and realizing that true connections of the soul never really die.
 
   I'm grateful for music - all music - as well as the amazing songs I'm given from time to time. I'm grateful to have a voice - and to live in a time when I can use that voice to express whatever I feel I need/want to express.

   I'm grateful I believe in myself. I'm grateful I Am loving - and full of love - at all times. I'm grateful to be open. I'm grateful that I'm happy - no matter what life seems to send my way.

   I'm grateful that I am able to use my music, my writing and my art as a way of making sense of the world. I'm grateful for You and I'm grateful that You're all on this journey with me. I'm grateful for Jason Mraz- and Alanis Morissette, the Beatles, John Lennon, Carole King, Billy Joel, my dad  - and countless other incredible musicians/songwriters/artists who continually inspire me to settle for nothing less than absolute greatness in my life's work.

   I'm grateful for awe-inspiring friends like, Tim Piccirillo, who encourage the living daylights out of me and keep me going strong at all times. I'm grateful for love - in all its forms. I'm grateful for sound - and connection. I'm grateful for friends and loved ones. I'm grateful for my sweet, sweet dog. I'm grateful for good times spent with great people. I'm grateful for memories I could never bear to live without. I'm grateful for places I've been, things I've experienced, 'mistakes' I've made and lessons I'm always learning.

   I'm grateful to be me. And I'm grateful to finally feel comfortable in my own skin.  I'm grateful for people who accept me as I am - no questions asked. I'm grateful to be surrounded by love and loving people at all times. I'm grateful for my life. I'm grateful for my health and my new-found love of eating healthy, yummy foods. I'm grateful for yoga - and meditation.

   I'm grateful for my heart and its willingness to heal and keep loving - at all costs. I'm grateful I look at the world as the most amazing and incredible place ever. I'm grateful that I see how much we are all connected - how we are all One - and how we are all love. I'm grateful I'm becoming more aware of how I impact this beautiful planet - and I'm grateful that I care so much about it. I'm grateful that, even when I'm experiencing more pain than I think I can handle, I somehow find a way to handle it and keep going. I'm grateful that I write - about EVERYTHING. I'm grateful for my house, my car and that I live in such a peaceful space in Florida. I'm grateful for my music - for the songs I write as well as my guitar, piano, and my bass! :-)

   I'm grateful that, no matter how many times I've heard that I wouldn't be any good at this, I simply keep going. I'm grateful that even when it seems like a big deal at the time, I know it's not. I'm grateful that I let go of the wheel and just let God drive most of the time. I'm grateful that I always feel that my glass is at least 3/4 full. (Yes, I really am THAT optimystic!! And no, that's not a typo.) I'm grateful to be open. I'm grateful to be feeling peaceful and completely loved in this moment.

   I'm grateful that I've had my heart broken - many times. I'm grateful that I get to experience sadness, for it makes happiness so much brighter and more magical when it arrives. I'm grateful that I've experienced loss, for it makes me appreciate what (and who) I have in my life and not take it (or them) for granted. I'm grateful for You. I'm grateful for sunshine. And birds. And butterflies. I'm grateful for the meltdown I experienced last fall. I'm grateful I'm letting go of the way I used to view myself - and the way I used to feel about myself. I'm grateful that I'm continually changing.  I'm grateful that I love to travel. I'm grateful to be going to California next month - it's going to be a life changing and transforming experience - and I'm grateful for it in advance.

   I'm grateful that I have the courage to keep going no matter what. I'm grateful that I'm always willing to try new things and to go my own way. I'm grateful that inspiration finds me in so many different ways - all the time. I'm grateful that I get to inspire other people. I'm grateful for my amazing mom and sister - as well as for so many of my other loved ones that I can't imagine living without.

   And I'm grateful for You - have I mentioned how grateful I Am for You? I'm grateful that You're here. I'm grateful that You've taken the time to read this and I'm grateful that You're Love. You really are. And somewhere, deep inside, You know this. So, I thank You for coming. I thank You for reading. And I thank You for thinking about what You're grateful for. Because, You can't read about what someone else is grateful for without thinking about what You're grateful for in Your own life....

So, now it's Your turn....what are You grateful for?

Love - and gratitude - always,
~Jen

late night

Well, insomnia doesn't hit me often, but when it does - wow - it hits me hard! LOL! But, not in a bad way. I'm actually up cleaning up my Mac, updating websites, uploading new pics, etc. Basically, I'm being productive. :-) All while listening to a new Jason Mraz CD (don't say a word, Scott!), 'Beautiful Mess - Live on Earth.' Needless to say, great stuff there. :-)

Anyway, over the past several months, major things have been happening. Some good, some 'bad' (other people might consider them bad, but I consider EVERY experience - no matter how 'bad' it may seem at the time - to be a blessing and a new opportunity to learn much needed lessons. Now, granted, some of these 'much needed lessons' have NOT been fun, but I'm grateful for them nonetheless. Yes, I've been learning a LOT and, on top of that, I've been writing a LOT. And I do mean a LOT. The songs that are coming now are the most honest and raw I've ever written. Something happened in the fall of 09 - I stopped judging. I stopped editing. I stopped worrying about what people were going to 'think' or how they were going to react to my new stuff. I just wrote - and wrote - and wrote. And, I've been writing ever since. I'm grateful that some of the most intense pain I've experienced thus far in my life is producing some pretty cool stuff.

I'm anxious to share the new songs with all of you! I'm not sure when the new album will be finished - I'm still writing songs for it! - but I'll keep you all posted. All I can do is promise that it will be worth the wait!

Thanks so much for all your love and support - it is MUCH appreciated!!

Love always,
~Jen

PS - Check out the happiest place on the internet and tell the world what you're grateful for!

http://www.gratitudelog.com

New Jen Stackpole Song!

Greetings Jen Stackpole music lovers! The time has come - I've just posted a new song!! It's called 'the Perfect Prize' and it will be on my new CD Remnants of the Fall, which I will be releasing later this spring. Please take a minute to check it out and let me know what you think!!


http://www.myspace.com/jenstackpole


You can also check it out here on my Facebook fan page (click on my music link and then click on 'the Perfect Prize') as well as on iLike! (just search for Jen Stackpole and add me as an artist.) Thanks so much for all your love and support!!!

epiphany: love-style

Our true nature is to love. It's good to stop and embrace that every once in awhile - yes, even the painful side of it. Personally, I love to love. I love that it's who I am and I'm grateful I get to do it all the time. I love being loving, open and vulnerable. (Okay - vulnerable is kinda tough sometimes, but I do it anyway. Hello songwriting!) It makes me feel young - and like I could live forever. Because love itself never dies. It is eternal. It doesn't even change form. It just IS. It's constantly flowing. It's a state of being. All we need to do is step into it. It's who we are and we don't get a choice in that. God/the Universe/the great Creator/Mother Divine made us that way and He/She designed us perfectly - so that we can never stop loving...no matter what...not even when it's painful. That IS why it's painful - because we think that we're not receiving love somehow. But that's just it - we can't give or receive what we already ARE. We just have to let it flow. If someone doesn't react in the way we want them to, that doesn't mean there's no love there. It simply means that we're being given an opportunity to stand strong in our own worth and love anyway. Only human beings can do that. Only human beings have the capacity and capability to love no matter what. All other living creatures act on survival and instinct. But not human beings - only we get to experience the joy of real love. And since we are ALL love - there's actually no way that we cannot be loved by someone else. It's actually not possible. If one loves, we all love - because we are all one, all connected - all LOVE.

Artist of the Month

ARTIST OF THE MONTH


JEN STACKPOLE

Knowing that developing raw talent is our “hot button” and personally experiencing the musical expertise of renowned music producer/sound engineer Frank Starchak, an Epcot performer referred Jen Stackpole to Deltona Arts & Historical Center's in house recording studio (Deltona Records) 5 years ago. Starchak and Stackpole's collaborations lead to her being asked to record a song with Michael Jackson's producer, Bruce Swedien.

The uniqueness of this brilliant singer/songwriter is her firm commitment to totally surrendering to the creative process with no regard for the commercial usage of her art. The reward is music which pleases the ear and pierces the soul. Jen Stackpole is a true artist. No compromise. No sheepishly following the latest musical trend or formula.

She has been described as a modern Carol King. What is Jen's style? Her own; from mind melting rock to melodic ballads and everything in between. Using her beautiful, honest and unique voice, Jen delivers compelling songs birthed out of her life experiences and purpose.

http://www.jenstackpole.com

http://www.myspace.com/jenstackpole

Jen can also be found on FaceBook (just search Jen Stackpole and become a fan) and you can buy her music on iTunes, Yahoo Music, Rhapsody, CDBaby and many other online music retail sites.


“A Creative Oasis where Artists are Nurtured and Dreams are Realized!”

Deltona Arts & Historical Center

386-575-2601

DeltonaArts.com