This has kinda been a metaphor for my life over the past several months. The end of 2009 most definitely brought about a really beautiful and painful death for me - several deaths, actually, if I'm going to be really honest about it. The end of 09 brought about the demise of all my old self-sabotaging habits, old negative ways of thinking, old self-defeating ways of being, and - most stunning of all - the complete and absolute death of a piss-poor 'I'm not worthy of being loved' attitude. There were many factors (and many people) who helped contribute to these life-altering transformations and I am grateful to - and for - them all.
On my birthday (in Tofino, BC), toward the end of last year, surrounded by complete love, light and acceptance, I (for the first time ever) truly took it all in - and, in one blissful moment of pure love and sound, I was absolutely, without question, re-born, re-connected; resurrected, if you will. A phoenix rising from the ashes, finally ready to take flight. And, but by the grace of God and this amazingly wonderful and perfect Universe, I haven't looked behind me since.
A very dear friend of mine sent me an incredibly sweet and touching email last night. In it, he said that I seem to be very zen these days. And, he's right, I do feel very calm, centered, peaceful and -most of all - loved. I feel so much love flowing to me - and through me - every minute of every day...and I couldn't be more grateful.
Since my promise to myself (and the Universe) at the end of last year to look (and move) only forward, so many (almost) unbelievably wonderful things have been happening in my world. Old connections and 'old' friendships have been re-worked to provide new blessings and new levels of love and connection. New friends and kindred spirits have come into my life as well - certain BE-ings who just, very unconditionally and very simply, love, support and accept me no matter what. (Totally grateful for that, by the way!) New opportunities for growth and living my dream are around every corner, every minute of every day. And last but certainly not least, very beautifully, little pieces of my soul have returned from wherever they went to heal and I am finally beginning to feel whole again.
Many of these things seem, on the surface, like they might be unbelievable - almost 'too good to be true.' But, of course they're true. It's all true - because this is the way this wonderful world and loving Universe work. When You absolutely know who You are and You stay connected to Your purpose, true miracles happen on a daily basis.
So much love and so many Blessings to all of You!
Just call me Zen...
