For you, D.S.

Tonight, I am remembering and sending much much love to someone who was an extremely important part of my life for a long time.

I just recently found out that this person has been going through an extremely difficult time (especially over the past several months) and, just recently, he thought he might be able to end his suffering by taking his own life.

Tonight, I am in DEEP gratitude that he did not succeed. I know his road to recovery may be long, but I am hopeful that this experience may actually, in fact, show him just how much he is loved and supported.

Many people have seemed to come out of the woodwork to show their love and support for this person and a handful of us have been praying 24/7 since we received the news.

For myself, I firmly believe he knows this. In my heart, I believe that there is a piece of him that knows exactly how much he is loved and how supported he is. Whether he decides to come back and live the rest of his life here in the physical world, or, he decides to let go and move on to the next part of his journey, he is completely supported...and loved.

My history with him goes back almost 20 years now. He came into my life - just when I needed him the most. Our friendship was strong and our time together was fast and, sometimes, furious. He was as close to me as my own breath and I had more love for him than I knew how to deal with at the time. Our separation was, unfortunately, less than friendly and eventually we lost touch with each other. (That was, more than likely, my decision and I'm sure I did not handle it well at the time.) Tonight, as I sit here writing this, it is as if no time has passed at all. I am sending him love - just as if he were sitting right in front of me.

D.S. - for the part I played in whatever pain you've experienced in your life, I truly and deeply apologize. I never meant to hurt you and I'm sorry for my own 'stuff' getting in the way of me truly being able to be there for you. I knew back then how much you were hurting and I didn't know how to help you. I didn't even know if I could help you. But now, here we are - almost 20 years later - and I am here, sending you all the love I have....because the love I have for you is unlimited. It knows absolutely no space and it has no concept of time. It's always been there and always will be - ready to fill you up whenever you are ready to allow it in.

I've seen so much pain in your eyes. I pray that, one day very soon, I will see those eyes filled with peace and joy.

Be at peace, my friend - and please know that all is well. You need not struggle or suffer ever again - and you certainly don't need to feel that you're ever alone...because, I can assure you, you're not.

Much much love ALWAYS,
~Jen