Magic

As I type this, his soft, sweet voice floats out of my speakers, surrounding me with love...and I realize that, even after almost 2 full years of trying to learn how to live without him, I still don't know how to let him go. Thankfully, I have this one moment in time, this one song, this one reminder, to provide me with some small sense of comfort...some indication that he did, in fact, walk among us...once...if only for a brief time...

Kirk Bennett - the purest example of light and love that I've ever known. Words will never do him justice so I'll simply say this...he was, in a word, amazing. Awe-inspiring might be an even better choice. In any event, he was....quite peacefully...and quite wonderfully....Kirk. And I miss him more than words could ever express.

I promise that I will provide more details about this in the near future - the song I mentioned (which is called Magic, by the way)  will be on the new album ('Remnants of the Fall'), which I will be releasing sometime later this year.

In the meantime, I can only say that there have been just 3 times in my life thus far that I felt such an intense and powerful connection with someone...the first time lasted only a few minutes, the next lasted a few days and the most recent lasted only a few weeks...all three connections ended in some form of lost...the greatest of which being Kirk's. His passing almost 2 years ago has affected me in ways I cannot even begin to describe. However, my gratefulness that I was ever blessed enough to be a part of his life far outweighs any grief I've allowed myself to experience over his loss.

I loved Kirk...more than anything - and I still do. That will never change. I've come to accept that as a part of my day-to-day life. There's no 'moving on.' Only moving forward...one step at a time...and that's something I can do; especially because I know Kirk is with me every step of the way. I'll never stop missing him. I'll never stop loving him. And I'll never stop wanting him to be right here beside me. And that's okay. He keeps me going, in a way. It's hard to explain, so I won't even dare. For now, I'll just say that I'm grateful. I'm grateful for love. I'm grateful for Music. And I'm grateful for two people who were so completely willing to open up to one other. We bared our souls in seconds flat and I'm so grateful for that.

Kirk - I can't put into words how much I miss you, but I know you understand somehow. I'm forever altered because you came into my life - and because you left so quickly. You've got a place in my heart - it's yours - forever.....along with the music. I love you.

Much love always,
~Jen

http://www.myspace.com/kirkbennett